Kali Wallace
Kali Wallace
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I had an OCD lapse in Las Vegas😐 (ft. CrimeCon 2022!)
💖Please support me on Patreon! www.patreon.com/kaliwallaceart
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Відео

The Queen of Tropical DIYs🌿
Переглядів 2812 роки тому
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How did my OCD handle Taxidermy?
Переглядів 4182 роки тому
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Here I am!🙋‍♀️
Переглядів 5962 роки тому
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Tiny paintings and the beach
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A busy May
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Resin, Animal Crossing updates & encouraging chats
Переглядів 4513 роки тому
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Making a rug and break time at the office
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The first few weeks at work & an abandoned dog🐶
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Getting caught up🎨 (& a new job?)
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All the gifts I DIYed for the 2020 holiday season
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Anxious in New Hampshire
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October into November✨
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Knocking some fears off my list (& painting)
Переглядів 6533 роки тому
💖Please support me on Patreon! www.patreon.com/kaliwallace beyondocd.org/expert-perspectives/articles/vomit-phobia-fear-of-vomiting-emetophobia 💖Follow me! ➼ insta @kaliwallace ➼ twitter @kaliwallace ➼ tumblr @kaliwallace
A commission & a word about self compassion
Переглядів 2953 роки тому
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An emotional day
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An emotional day
Catching up on things
Переглядів 4413 роки тому
Catching up on things
Working without wifi😒
Переглядів 1853 роки тому
Working without wifi😒
Paint & Chill with me✨
Переглядів 3773 роки тому
Paint & Chill with me✨
Pet portraits galore~*
Переглядів 2243 роки тому
Pet portraits galore~*
Back to work
Переглядів 3713 роки тому
Back to work
Recent paintings & photoshopped graduation pictures
Переглядів 3284 роки тому
Recent paintings & photoshopped graduation pictures
Am I even graduating? WHAT is happening?
Переглядів 5704 роки тому
Am I even graduating? WHAT is happening?
Paint an amiibo card with me | chill chat & paint session
Переглядів 4434 роки тому
Paint an amiibo card with me | chill chat & paint session
Passing the time at home
Переглядів 4184 роки тому
Passing the time at home
Paint & chat with me🥺
Переглядів 3644 роки тому
Paint & chat with me🥺
Anxiety in the time of COVID-19 | anxieTEA time
Переглядів 1,3 тис.4 роки тому
Anxiety in the time of COVID-19 | anxieTEA time
A few nice days
Переглядів 4524 роки тому
A few nice days
More delays in my life in China
Переглядів 5354 роки тому
More delays in my life in China
Will I be going back to China? & what I painted in January
Переглядів 5064 роки тому
Will I be going back to China? & what I painted in January

КОМЕНТАРІ

  • @lukebraganzajones1662
    @lukebraganzajones1662 12 днів тому

    Hey ❤ ive had intrusive thoughts and feelings i think from all the stuff i used to read on telegram about pedos and things about people hurting kids, i am a dad now and have 2 step daughters and a baby girl , but its like soemtiens i donti feel weird just talking or looking at my kid like if i was weird or like one of them that has done things to kids....i know i would never hurt a kid or anything like that ❤🙏🏾 but its been more recent as a father , as a young boy i was always curious about the body and sex and all that, and started watching porn very young ..but i gave up on all that ..but like thoughts come back and try to make me feel guilty from when i was younger and checked bodies and all that curiosity as a kid ...but i tell myself i am not what i think and i have no fear, as it builds up in to fear 🙏🏾 but recently seing videos i feel i have always had some sort of level of ocd....but i think its about controlling and understanding your thoughts dont define you as a person ❤ i tell myself i LOVE my girls and all the kids in the world.. i am not like those that do harm or have sexual thoughts 🙏🏾 its about loving yourself and not having fear , tell yourself ❤ its training your brain ...i gave Up drugs and weed , so im on the detox , maybe that didnt help my brian , im sure it didnt....its great to know that im not weird and millions get weird thoughts and feelings .. specially if you have fed your mind toxic stuff ...we need to love ourselfs and fear nothing ❤ thanks for the video and coments ❤

  • @damn8697
    @damn8697 24 дні тому

    Hey Someone Please make a online Community of ocd people, I need to talk to people who can understand my situation. Loneliness is haunting me.

  • @princessqueenmama8805
    @princessqueenmama8805 2 місяці тому

    This is making me so emotional because I literally have gone through such a similar story you’re explaining. It’s terrible.

  • @Tangentbordsblues
    @Tangentbordsblues 2 місяці тому

    Is it a like-themed ocd?

  • @islandhall90
    @islandhall90 2 місяці тому

    I’ve been dealing with this since 2022 I’m glad I’m not alone but also sad I am❤️

  • @justmadeit2
    @justmadeit2 3 місяці тому

    The horrible thing about this type of anxiety is that our minds are literally turning against us, tormenting us

  • @awpurrit8580
    @awpurrit8580 3 місяці тому

    Omg , I’ve had every thought you’ve had , to admit this to UA-cam takes a lot of women power wow thank you I don’t feel so alone now ❤

  • @yellowdog1078
    @yellowdog1078 3 місяці тому

    im so proud you can talk about this - that is amazing - you should be really chuffed with yourself. youre so brave.

  • @littlecreep1903
    @littlecreep1903 3 місяці тому

    This is my hell currently especially since im going through benzo withdrawal. Its the worst feeling in the world. The crazy intrusive thoughts feel like youve really done those things. I get almost hysterical when i am around family members . My compulsion is to video record myself everywhere cos i dont trust my own minds recollection of events. (False memory ocd). Im now on setriline and im hoping it ll help

  • @Maulanadafitt
    @Maulanadafitt 3 місяці тому

    I want cry why i got OCD 😢, i got OCD on 2016, N i done fight with OCD so long 7 years, if i got OCD bcs traumatic by other people i will revenge

  • @baileykokay
    @baileykokay 4 місяці тому

    I’m finally going through the process of opening up to medical professionals (still haven’t really told family yet; have told some friends) about my obsessions and compulsions and like you said “crazy thoughts” and it’s so freeing to finally FINALLY know WHY and hopefully find help and peace.

  • @Jahfriend
    @Jahfriend 4 місяці тому

    One off my friends has had awfull thoughts about ill people example a bad thought about someone dieing from cancer ? Anyone relate

  • @leonslionessnz4867
    @leonslionessnz4867 4 місяці тому

    They are just thoughts that get stuck in an anxious mind. That is all they are thoughts- try not to give them the power to take over your life. Accept them and they diminish. The fact that one is afraid of carrying out the intrusive thought is the proof that one would never do it. Evil people who carry out harm on others do not care, nor does it bother them.

  • @Paseandoconnico
    @Paseandoconnico 4 місяці тому

    are you alive, kali wallace? hahahhahah not to sound creepy but i miss your videos. i hope you are doing ok and your ocd is not giving you hard times.

  • @themistics6954
    @themistics6954 4 місяці тому

    I had ocd. And i think that i had 2 little strokes in 1 year but i never go to doctor. It feels like i got punched inside of my face. And ears was hurting me inside. Little blood came out from my eyes. That was few years ago.

  • @neciraoumaima1070
    @neciraoumaima1070 4 місяці тому

    Your taughts are similar to mine and I laughed so much, once am currently having a taught whenever I see a man I think of him like he is my brother and I can't like him I know it is OCD and silly but it hurts a lot

  • @deckearns
    @deckearns 5 місяців тому

    Thank you so very much for posting this❤

  • @deckearns
    @deckearns 5 місяців тому

    I feel i really need to post how i have managed my OCD. I have had OCD since i was a boy (I'm 49 years now). My OCD then was bad, really bad. My parents were always fighting, physically, it made me so anxious. I used to rub and touch things, multiple times. When i turned on a light switch it would need to be a certain amount of times. I had to only eat with my right hand... On, and on. I counted the windscreen wipers as they worked, lamp posts as they passed the car. It was almost the end of me. No joke. It was getting totally out of hand, and fast. Then one day i felt, even though i was younger, at this stage about 15yrs. I decided i had enough of it. I had no idea what i was doing but i thought i could start by filling my cup of water only ONCE (not 100 times). It was so difficult at first, i would fail, many times. But whenever i did only fill the cup once it felt amazing to just walk away with a glass of water. Afterwards i would notice that morning negative would happen at all. This was important for me to notice Now granted the urge was really strong to fefill. But i persisted. I kept this up for years, i mean years, still do it. Yes i have OCD, still, but i can manage it. And yes, every now and again a refill my cup, but now it's only 3 or 4 times. My wife thinks it's cute! Then when i was about 25 i started having these thoughts, damaging awful thoughts. I'd be using a carving knife when all of a sudden my thoughts were 'you could easily stab your house mate with this'. Omg! I was shocked. This wasn't me. Like REALLY was not me. It made me even more anxious. The thoughts terrifed me. The main thing i recall is that i was NEVER going to share these thoughts. With anyone. It's only now, years later, that many others suffering are feeling brave enough to admit.I figured people would think i was insane. So i told nobody and suffered quietly, inside my mind. It was sad times. Then, one night when i was researching, trying to find a way out of these thoughts, i found a post on redit. It was some dude, just like me, who shared his strategy. It's simple: ONCE THAT THOUGHT ENTRIES YOUR MIND, LET IT GO. INSTANTLY. DON'T FOCUS ON IT. JUST LET IT GO. My 'caveman' approach and how i now feel about the thoughts is this ... 'normal' folk have the EXACT same thoughts, but for them letting go is automatic. For us we need to manually LET GO (INSTANTLY... THIS IS KEY). I think of it like the difference between a stick shift (manual drive) and an automatic car. In one case you physically need to find the next gear and in the other it's automatic. For me this greatly helped. And, what's amazing is that the more i practiced the more iget better at banishing those thoughts. Years later i discovered that there is an actual technique which describes what i was doing. It's called 'exposure therapy'. I had no idea. So maybe as a young boy i discovered something without realising it. It would be interesting to hear what health professional would think of what i did. But, without doubt, i am better, not cured, but it's really much better. I just always need to keep on top of it. All i will say is stay strong. None of this is you. We are not psychopaths or schizophrenics, we just have intrusive, really bad shocking thoughts that it not who you are. It's just processing thoughts that everyone else has too only for then the release is automatic. Lastly, remember, I'm just some dude on UA-cam. This was my experience. You might be different to me but also you might understand what I'm saying. I never write long UA-cam posts but in this instance i hope that my words and thoughts find anyone suffering and help you somewhat. ❤

  • @sumsum5196
    @sumsum5196 5 місяців тому

    How are you doing today? ❤️

  • @tristanstahl2549
    @tristanstahl2549 6 місяців тому

    It sounds like there was an adverse reaction to Celexa unfortunately it is common. I have been tapering off of lexapro for 6 years, 30x slower than most recommend in a taper, and I still had/have all the withdrawal symptoms. One right now is harm ocd and it’s terrible. Been over 4 months.

  • @richymatthews1422
    @richymatthews1422 6 місяців тому

    You're so beautiful, I've suffered from OCD for a long time, seeing this video I could relate in almost every way, I think although it can feel difficult at times to try compassionate detachment toward my thoughts, to try observe and witness my thoughts with compassion than engaging with them, but I completely sympathize cos OCD can feel very distressing and tormenting, but well done for having the courage to make this video well done xx :)

  • @richymatthews1422
    @richymatthews1422 6 місяців тому

    ❤❤❤❤ xx

  • @richymatthews1422
    @richymatthews1422 6 місяців тому

    You're so beautiful, I've suffered from OCD for a long time, seeing this video I could relate in almost every way, I think although it can feel difficult at times to try compassionate detachment toward my thoughts, to try observe and witness my thoughts with compassion than engaging with them, but I completely sympathize cos OCD can feel very distressing and tormenting, but well done for having the courage to make this video well done xx :)

  • @carmonaproductions1995
    @carmonaproductions1995 6 місяців тому

    I thought I was the only one about the cannibalism one this really brought trauma to my life and it suck’s man this the thought I can’t get over bc is so frightened 😥

  • @Imamouseduh451
    @Imamouseduh451 6 місяців тому

    Your story is almost identical to mine. Having to research things over and over. 😵‍💫

  • @legendaryengram751
    @legendaryengram751 8 місяців тому

    Thank you for all of the clarity, I've never felt more scared and more calm in my life, i could relate to almost all of the things you said, and you helped me gain hope again, I'm soon 21, and got these dark thoughts 2 months ago, and i fear the worst that I'm a dangerous person, but you inspired me to learn to cope with this, i hope this came out right, its late and I'm purely excausted atm ,

  • @covelli007
    @covelli007 8 місяців тому

    This just started happening to me at 39, I’m so glad I found your videos. It’s been the worst 2 months of my life

    • @brandondonahue8988
      @brandondonahue8988 19 годин тому

      Me too bud, came out of no where. Made me think I was going crazy

  • @kieronwarren3808
    @kieronwarren3808 8 місяців тому

    I haven’t been diagnosed with ocd but last week I was feeling suicidal, been having thoughts of hurting my family and they ended up putting me in a holding cell, had a panic attack in the cell, ik I am not capable of hurting anyone, never even been in a fight, just feels like sometimes I could do something and it scares me

  • @chelzyramirez3663
    @chelzyramirez3663 8 місяців тому

    Just know you guys will recover soon promise❤ it just takes time it I takes time just be strong and I know by heart people with ocd are the strongest people I know ❤

  • @Shivam98677
    @Shivam98677 8 місяців тому

    If OCD relapses and setbacks can be managed then why is it like some people are able to manage the relapses comfortably while the others get stuck??

  • @Chloe-fc5nu
    @Chloe-fc5nu 8 місяців тому

    I have the weird deer that I’m gonna become a zoofile or attracted to animals because I say a lizard with a jaw line and said damn so now I’m freaked out and can’t handle looking at humans also I have had all these fears ❤

  • @emg3125
    @emg3125 8 місяців тому

    Mine happened after taking 2 grams of shrooms now I have full blown ocd ruined my life

  • @Layback233
    @Layback233 9 місяців тому

    I’ve struggled with that and I have thoughts of hurting someone and going through stress and very bad anxiety all my life. Mine just just happened 4weeks ago and i could not eat or anything did not go to work I felt like I was going to hurt someone at work or anywhere. I could not be around anyone! I’ve lost 10 pounds in 3 weeks cuz of stress. Very bad panic attacks and anxiety!! Now I’m doing better and not thinking much. But it still comes back but I ignore it. All you have to do is just expect it and later it will fall away from you. Yes some days it will come back but just it’s all in your head. Just let it happen

  • @user-ph1ir8dw1k
    @user-ph1ir8dw1k 9 місяців тому

    Hey, I wanna know if you are ok

  • @ilovemypet3000
    @ilovemypet3000 9 місяців тому

    Speaking from experience, this OCD theme is one of the worst things that can happen to anyone. It's pure mental torture, a living hell. I relapsed 3 months ago after years of being free of this monster and honestly I feel like It completely changed me for life. I too wish I could go back in time to when I had my first intrusive thought and reacted to it in a different way. I feel you so much, I wish I could give you a hug. I hope you're doing well and thriving in life. OCD sufferers, we are warriors <3

  • @SanhatiGhosh
    @SanhatiGhosh 9 місяців тому

    Can you have multiple types at the same time? I had been dealing with Trichotillomania and maladaptive daydreaming since fourth grade. I did have certain urges to touch the borders of objects or arranging things or touching the switch multiple times to make sure it's off or not and such but I had a mental break down years later after my sister's wedding, I was dealing with paranoia that people were talking ill of me or judging me and they might all know about all the sins I've committed, I kept apologising to everyone, I'd also pick up just one word of their conversation and make up the rest in my head and be absolutely sure they're talking about me. It felt so real and at some point my father realised I needed a doctor even though they were scared of the stigma. I was on meds for almost two years and eventually the doses were reduced, my father kept complaining about the waste of time and money and everything so I told him I don't need it anymore. He was secretly glad and my doctor went abroad so we were out of contact for a while, after like five months I slowly started imagining cutting things in equal parts, be it a tangible or intangible thing. Living or non-living. Then after a few weeks I started imagining stabbing people (mostly my parents or cats) or lighting them on fire. I get angry at my parents often because they are kinda toxic and the responsibility of taking care of three cats and on top of that my parents hate the cats, all of these makes me feel like I'm losing my head. But the thought not only pops up when I'm angry at them but also when I'm just lying in bed chilling, beside my mother. It comes suddenly. Self harm had been a constant idea that had lived in my head for years and it doesn't scare me. But the idea that oneday I'll just lose control and stab them does. And the weird thing is I don't even panic or get anxious about it, I don't feel afraid, it feels like it's my fate and oneday it'll certainly happen. Is it really OCD? Or is it something else?

  • @kendallope
    @kendallope 10 місяців тому

    The way I just gasped at what that doctor said about artists. Oh my god

  • @kendallope
    @kendallope 10 місяців тому

    The pet harm thoughts made me shudder, I still have those unfortunately. The pedophilia ones too

    • @enlemen
      @enlemen 9 місяців тому

      IM dealing with pet harm too and its brutal...my dog is my everything ..

  • @prophecyfitnessboxing3006
    @prophecyfitnessboxing3006 10 місяців тому

    "My GRACE, Is SUFFICIENT Enough." 2 CORINTHIANS 12:9,10 That's What His Grace Is Therefore. This is Called OCD In The World of the Flesh, In The Spiritual, It's called, A THORN. And Jesus Wore a Head of Thorns. This is Your One1. Survive the Sifting, Conquer The Thorn. This Will Pass Too

  • @prophecyfitnessboxing3006
    @prophecyfitnessboxing3006 10 місяців тому

    "Simon, Simon.. Satan Has Asked To Have You, That He May "SIFT" You as Wheat. But I Prayed For You That Your "FAITH" Will Fail Not, and When You Convert Back, Lift Up Your Brothers." LUKE 22:31

  • @rai.5155
    @rai.5155 11 місяців тому

    I finally feel “not alone” in this. I just feel like understood.

  • @CordK
    @CordK 11 місяців тому

    I began suffering from self harm OCD right after being prescribed Risperdal. I had experienced anxiety and paranoia in the past but I never had a crippling fear of suicide like I developed after starting the medication. I stopped after two days but the intrusive thoughts and feelings of dread have lingered for weeks, but hearing you discuss your experiences really makes me feel like I'm not just crazy! I now have an anti-anxiety medication that I take as needed but I don't think I should've ever been on anti-psychotics and can't help but think it contributed to the onset. Good luck to everyone out there struggling with something similar, I can't say I'm totally better but I'm getting there.

  • @yemkonhongha8148
    @yemkonhongha8148 11 місяців тому

    Modafinil worsen OCD 😢😢😢

  • @paige15803
    @paige15803 Рік тому

    This ocd is terrible ive had HOCD and now its harm OCD and literally yesterday night i went down to my mum and dad and started crying because its too scary and im scared of it. I always get the thought of you wanna k.... This person (i wont say the person) and i absolutely break down becahse this person is the most amazing man ever and loves me sk much and even writting this know my ocd wants me to think its bringing me to tears,i HATE IT I WANT IT GONE then yhe thought comes along saying you wanna be a killer you wanna hurt someone i cant even be around a knife without the thkughts of that,i dony know how to talk about it , I JUST WANT THEM GONE I DINT WANNA LOSE CONTROL EVERRRRR i remember literally last week i was always saying i wanna do something to help people and save the world and all thay and if i watched somekne getting hurt id cry and flinch I JUST HATW THESE THOUGHTS I WANT THEM GONE QND IM ACTUALLY SO SCARED INCASE I LOSE CONTROL,i know i dont want to BUT OCD THKUGHTS ARE SO REAL ANYONE GOT ANY ADVICE i just wish i was never born and never had a life so i wouldnt have to go through this horrible things has anyone got any advice

  • @KawaiiHamsteruwubean69
    @KawaiiHamsteruwubean69 Рік тому

    You're cat is trying to eat you

  • @BurgundyRoseStudios
    @BurgundyRoseStudios Рік тому

    Sleep deprivation and right before bed...yep!

  • @ramialamis3449
    @ramialamis3449 Рік тому

    I’m 16 years old(girl) and for the past few days I’ve been having dis thoughts about harming other people and what if they died and also I used to have hocd which I have been suffering from 1-2 yrs or something and ho😢it’s really shitty it’s like u can’t even tell anyone about dis and u just have to suffer silently and also prior to dat I also used to manifest and stuffs and now I’m scared like I constantly think about those violent thoughts and killing and murder and I’m scared what if it gets manifested and actually something bad happens to them .God save me from this mess I can’t take this anymore

  • @bethinabrevil9363
    @bethinabrevil9363 Рік тому

    Currently my OCD is latching on to my Amazing mother 😢. My ocd is trying to convince me she’s evil.

  • @harleymcharley7152
    @harleymcharley7152 Рік тому

    It gets better!! Hang in there!! I felt like I was in the pits of hell for almost 18 months but I survived and so can you!!

    • @MetaphysicalExplorations
      @MetaphysicalExplorations 10 місяців тому

      Hi there :)What helped you with OCD?

    • @harleymcharley7152
      @harleymcharley7152 10 місяців тому

      @@MetaphysicalExplorations Distractions and time. Time is the main key thing with it.

  • @user-nh3wz8lk4v
    @user-nh3wz8lk4v Рік тому

    I tried cutting a slice of pizza in front of my mom and it gave me the worst anxiety. I can’t even watch horror movies and that used to be my favorite genre.